 Recently, my close friend shared a shocking story with me about her boyfriend possibly cheating on her. At first, I thought she was overreacting. She then pulled out a pair of her boyfriend’s boxer from her purse and showed me what appeared to be some kind of residue with a long strand of purple-looking weave clamped down on it. By her reaction I could tell she was sooooo angry, mortified, and disgusted! She was at the top of her voice shouting, “dat dutty wothless stinkin’ john crow.” “Iffa eva ketch ‘im, police wudda lock me up.” I sat there puzzled thinking to myself, “wait a minute!” “a nuh last week she did a gi bun pon fi har man.”
You know I warned her that “if yu live inna glass ‘ouse, don’t throw stones.” Bwoy… me and my goat mout!
Both men and women have trust issues. Some will even go to the extreme to prove their partner is cheating. How far would you go?
Some women and men have gone to the extent of searching their partner’s pockets, wallets or purses, cellphones and laundry. Some even search the garbage bin. But, isn't that something mad people generally do! Some people even go to the extreme of searching their partner’s underwear.
It just may have happened that your partner has hired a private investigator, or maybe you’re even thinking of getting one. But, if you don’t want your partner to cheat on you, do not cheat on your partner. Dr. Marina Katz in her review of a WebMD feature entitled: “Why Women Cheat” confirmed that revenge is one of the main reasons why cheating occurs. So, “if yu live inna glass ‘ouse, don’t throw stone”, as the possibility exists that your partner may want to (1) cheat to get even or (2) cheat to affirm their self-worth after you've ‘dogged’ him/her out.
Remember the Golden Rule “do unto others as you’d have them do on to you.”
And… please DO NOT call your partner and pretend to be some secret admirer to find out if he/ she would actually cheat. Like, why would you do that?
As the late Peter Tosh advises in his 1983 song release “Glasshouse"....“If you live in glasshouse don’t throw stone. And if you can’t take blows, don’t throw….”Written by:Evadne Brown, Tash-Shawna Doeman & Sheavon TaylorEdited by:Sheavon Taylor & Evadne Brown
 Have you ever heard Jamaican men say that “Bird cyan fly pon one wing”? The English translation of this is, “A bird cannot fly on one wing”. But, can an actual bird perform this function if a wing is missing? You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that “technically” it’s impossible, or at least unknown for this unique creature to fly with just one wing. This Jamaican adage, “Bird cyan fly pon one wing” basically means that a man has to have more than one intimate relationship to feel completely sexually satisfied as a ‘man’… Or is it, as a ‘bird’?
Have you ever stopped to think, that probably why some Jamaican men think of themselves as birds is their need for absolute freedom to have as many sexual partners as they see fit- just as the bird is free in the wild to nest, feed and breed? And if a man calls himself a bird, won’t he start acting like one? “The little Oxford Dictionary” came in handy in making the distinction between a “bird” and a “man”. A “bird”, it says, is “an animal with feathers, wings, and beak that lays eggs and is usually able to fly”. On the other hand, a man is “an adult human male, a person, or a human being in general”. Therefore, a bird is a bird and a man is man. One was meant to fly and the other to stay on lan’.
Many Jamaican men aren’t satisfied with just one woman. Have you ever heard the saying, “variety is the spice of life?” Well…On Thursday “Man ‘N’ Woman Sin’ting” parade the streets of Mandeville to gather responses to why men feel they must have more than one woman. The results were “jaw-dropping”. Well… some men think that after having sex with one woman over an extended time, things can become boring, so they need a second or a third in order to fill this gap. Some men even think that it’s just a part of their nature, and some simply say they do it “because they can”. Others say they have more than one woman because “man short”.
However, Frederic Simpson, a fruit higgler who, according to him, has been selling in Mandeville for 15 years said that he has been married for over 25 years and has never given thought to sharing his bed with another woman. He said that though there were many opportunities his love and respect for his wife and children couldn’t allow him to share his love, time or money with another woman. According to Frederic, “Yuh si, if a man claim seh him love a woman, him shuda have some level a control over di physical feeling fi di other ‘oman’. Cause if him a go just mek because a sex him mess up him good good life them him is a fool.”
Frederic said that, because he concentrated his time and effort on just one woman he was able to build his house and is managing to send his children to school. He said that, “the fun cyaan dun” and he hopes others will learn the truth about their actions before it’s too late. He said that having more than one woman, based on what he has seen, “can send a man to either di poor house, mad house or to ‘im early grave.” He hopes that Jamaican men will start thinking wisely before it’s too late.
So, a who seh “bird cyaan fly pon one wing?” If Frederic did it, then so can you. Just a word of caution to the ladies… the next time you are approached by a Jamaican man be sure to find out if he is a “man” or a “bird”
Chorus……(mama tutoo mi laas mi bird!)
Written by Evadne Brown
Edited by Sheavon Taylor
 You ever feel like you are the only single person among your friends? Are you feeling like all your feeds on Facebook or Twitter is all about ‘me and my boo out’, ‘me and hubby a work out’ or ‘he’s the one’….and you’re sitting there like… kmt cha! Ok then….
Don’t worry. Don’t depress yourself. Someone’s out there for you!
Today there are so many new dating trends. So many new opportunities for you to meet someone whether you love to go out, party, or not. Why not ‘throw caution to the wind’ and sign up for online dating?
I recommend Match.com or Caribbeancupid.com these dating sites allow you to carefully screen and choose who you may be interested in. However, I do recommend that after you get to know this person online, you set a date, bring a friend to meet the person and once comfortable…mingle!
For more tips on successful online dating: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Tips-for-Successful-Online-Dating
According to a new report about online dating and relationships, by the Pew Internet and American Life project, where Americans were evaluated: - 1 in 10 persons have turned to online dating via Web or mobile app
- 66% have moved on to dating in person
- 23% entered into long-term relationships and yes, successful marriages.
So… guess what? Other people are dating online too! Say this out LOUD: “EVERY HOE HAVE HIM ‘TICK A BUSH!” Facebook and Twitter are also popular social platforms that you can meet and mingle with other singles. Don’t consider yourself desperate if you turn to online dating. In this technological day, you don’t need to hang out at a bar or the beach to meet someone. You can meet your ‘tick right at your own comfort level-your bedroom! “Yuh tick deh a bush…go find ‘im or ‘har.” *kmt (kiss my teeth)
Written by: Tash-Shawna Doeman
Edited by: Sheavon Taylor & Evadne Brown
 “Cyaan buy puss inna bag!” This is a common Jamaican proverb that is normally used among Jamaican men, and these days, heard also among the female population as well. To say “cyaan buy pus inna bag,” simply means that one cannot get married without first sampling sex with the potential wife/husband to ensure sexual compatibility.
Most Jamaican men fear buying the “puss inna bag” as he fears that at the end of the extensive dating, courting, the “I do’s” then the “now you may kiss the brides” and the looooooooong awaiting honey moon, a hidden catastrophe may slap him right across the face ‘seh him have cold fish inna bed’ meaning there is no vibes in the bedroom. Therefore, he “cyaan buy pus inna bag”. Jamaican men dread this outcome-though a small majority may wait amidst the uncertainty. But, did you know that according to Priorities For Today Magazine , sex after marriage reduces the likelihood of divorce?
Uhmmm…
Is sex the key to love, or is love the key to sex? Even if after finding out that there is ‘sexual compatibility’, would this then be a guarantee to eternal marital bliss? Additionally, in Priorities For Today Magazine a statistical analysis of participants showed that couples who wait to have sex …enjoy significantly more benefits in the relationship than those who had sex earlier. The article also stated that men and women who chose to wait before having sex showed the following in their relationships:
· 22% higher in stability
· 20 % higher in sexual satisfaction
· 15% better in quality of the relationship
· 12% higher in communication
Those who parade the opinion or dread the fear of buying “puss inna bag” and pushes to unveil the “puss” at the shopping counter you may get ‘blouse an’ skirt’ scratch… Meooow!
Written by: Evadne Brown
Edited by: Sheavon Taylor & Tash-Shawna Doeman
Welcome to "Man 'N' Woman Sin'ting", the first in its series of real Jamaican blogging about real dating and relationship issues, trends and customs of the Jamaican culture. It promises to be an exciting journey, as we take you through a mirage of colourful drama with the aim of bringing about to a higher degree, sensitization about dating etiquette, in an effort to improve your relationship situations.
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